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Peter Prescriptions

May 29, 2010

Next time you’re on an elevator and feel bored, liven up the moment with some of these insightful ideas.
These are also useful ideas to add to your list of "Peter Prescriptions",  ( How not to raise to your level of incompetence.)

    1.    When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.
    2.    Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
    3.    Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
    4.    Swat at flies that don’t exist.
    5.    Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
    6.    Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
    7.    Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they’d like to play.
    8.    Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they hear something ticking.
    9.    Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
    10.    Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
    11.    Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
    12.    Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."
    13.    Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space!"
    14.    Fart loudly then exclaim "Was that you. There’s no way I could do that one because unfortately mine don’t come out loud."
    15.    Before the elevator door opens shout "DING" and then laugh and say "beat you again Mr Elevator."
    16.    Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
    17.    Hire a labrador, wear sunglasses and repeatedly walk into the walls whilst pretending to not hear the other passenger’s direction.
    18.    Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "that’s mine!"
    19.    Hold the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How’s your day been?"
    20.    Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You’re one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

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